From High School Hero to College Zero
Back in high school, I played tight end for our football team and wasn’t half bad. So, during my freshman year in college I tried out for the team. It felt like jumping from grade school football to the NFL—a harsh lesson that so much of life is relative. I quickly realized I was out of my league, too small, too slow, and lacking any inherent athletic gift. I was cut after a few days.
A Sudden Shift in Perspective
My high school, Cincinnati Country Day, housed only about 120 boys, whereas my college, Miami of Ohio, boasted over 10,000 students. After that humbling tryout for the Miami football team, my view of my personal athleticism changed dramatically. This was the most sudden and striking example I had ever experienced of comparative judgment recalibration. It was perhaps the first time I realized that we judge ourselves—and our success in life—by the dynamics of our current surroundings. Dramatically alter those surroundings and what seemed pretty good might suddenly look pretty bad, or vice versa.
Appreciating Small Comforts
Imagine being rescued as a WWII prisoner of war. Sleeping on a cot on the cold metal floor of a U.S. warship transporting you home would feel like a bigger upgrade than moving from a Motel 6 to the finest Ritz-Carlton… a comparative judgment recalibration.
A Night of Terror and Relief
During my senior year in law school, my dad let me borrow his Piper Cherokee to fly from Cincinnati back to Washington D.C. after visiting for Christmas break. Flying at night I got caught in a storm, lost visibility, and was navigating by my gauges. Suddenly they began to malfunction due to a frozen pitot tube. The realization that I had forgotten to activate the pitot heat terrified me.
I was sweating bullets even though it was freezing in the plane. Using my VOR, I located the nearest airport—a small, rural landing field without tower guidance. I managed to land the plane and once on the ground, sighted a small diner across the street from the deserted airport. After securing the plane, I walked over, ordered dinner and a drink, and revelled in the feeling of being the luckiest, happiest guy in the world… just to be alive.
A Humbling Night in a Humble Motel
The diner’s owner kindly drove me to the local, cheapest of cheap, motel where I experienced one of the best night’s sleep of my life. Waking up the next day to look out at that small, peaceful rural community was a glorious sight. While at the time I didn’t think about it beyond being thrilled to be alive, in retrospect that was a case of comparative judgment recalibration.
A Leaky Toilet’s Lesson
Yesterday, a plumber botched the installation of a heated toilet Teresa was installing in our master bath. A leak occurred right after he left. It turned out the new toilet needed a different connection valve than the previous toilet, which had to be specially ordered. I was perturbed, realizing that if I had to use the bathroom in the middle of the night (which I always do), I would be walking in the dark to the guest toilet. Now, while reflecting on this, I realize I should have given myself a metaphorical slap in the face (or perhaps Teresa should have) for being so spoiled. I needed comparative judgment recalibration.
Reflections on Comparative Recalibration
The lesson to me is no matter my hurdle, regardless of my disappointment, I should assess my situation in light of those less fortunate, struggling in poverty, challenged with health, or surviving a POW camp. Comparatively, it’s not so bad, right?
(This article is dedicated to a beloved family member. Your life isn’t yet what you want it to be. But compared to millions around the world, it’s not so bad, right?)
